Our phones have a way to indicate when the battery is low and needs to be charged. We often rush and scramble to get a charger before our phone dies. And this is just an electronic device.
Now imagine if humans had an indicator that lets them know when their mental and physical battery was low? I know you might be saying, "but we do". In my defense, they are not as clear as the phone battery indicators, and many people get to crucially low battery levels before they realize that they need to recharge themselves.
Today, I will discuss the act of "giving and giving and never getting anything back" and the fine line between giving and selfishness. So, if you're one of those people who always find themselves investing your time and energy into someone but never getting it back, you might want to stick around.
Story Time
Let me tell you a story about two people. Let's name these two people Friday and Monday.
Friday is a lovely, cheerful, and good energy person. Friday loves giving people things/time/vibes and doesn't mind not receiving them back. Friday did this for a very long time. It got to a point where Friday's battery levels were running very low. Friday felt exhausted by now but couldn't stop the act of giving because it thought that would make it selfish. Friday never took a day off, so it wouldn't put anyone else in a difficult situation. But then this happened:
One day, Monday stopped Friday to address "something". Monday accused Friday of not showing up, not giving at all, and being selfish. Without a doubt, Friday was hurt. Friday felt like Monday was accusing it of something completely wrong, and it felt ashamed. Friday didn't know what to say, and Friday went into depression.
But let me tell you what actually happened.
Friday's hypothetical cup got empty, but Friday didn't know about it. Friday kept pouring and pouring.
When you pour from an empty cup, it's like you're pouring air into someone else's cup. To Friday, it felt like it was pouring everything it had, but to Monday, it was nothing. Monday couldn't see the air Friday was pouring. This is why you should always fill your cup before you pour into anyone else's.
This is also another reason why flight attendants always advise you to put on your oxygen mask before helping anyone else. If you barely put your mask on and then try to help another person, you're risking both of your lives. It's like my manager says, "garbage in, garbage out".
Advice
Make yourself a priority at all costs. I understand doing that will make you look selfish at times, but you have to look at the situation from a holistic view.
For example, if my friend asks me to go on a road trip on the weekend I have a lot to catch up on, I will politely decline because it doesn't hurt/affect her negatively. But if my friend reaches out to me on that same weekend night asking for help because she's stranded on the side of the road, and I decline, now that would make me selfish because my decision to not help is putting her to risk.
This often happens in the friendship/dating world where one person initiates conversations and events, and the other just ✨exists✨. It feels like a one-sided relationship at ALL times. In that case, you need to have a conversation with them, and if their attitude still doesn't change, you need to move on. Because let me tell you, the right people will replicate your energy, and you will feel it.
One great quote about dating I read somewhere:
"If someone likes you, you'll know. If they don't, you'll be confused"
I find this quote very accurate, but sometimes it can be misleading. Remember this easy policy, "When in confusion, just ask".
I hope this teaches you something about the constant power/downfalls of giving and not taking breaks. Remember, you are not selfish to put yourself first. You're doing the other person a favor because it makes you better in the following areas:
At work; more productive
At school; more concentrated
At home; more peaceful
In your relationship; a better partner
In your life; more successful
On that note, don't forget to drink some water, and Happy Friday!😉
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