Your 20s Are Not a Race: Rejecting Timelines and Living at Your Pace
- Zahra Khan
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
I spoke to one of my college friends yesterday, he was one of my juniors. He shared a lot about his life, and most of it was great to hear.
Except for one small detail.
He casually mentioned that he experiences a sharp pain in his chest very often, completely out of nowhere. Mind you, he’s only 23.
Hearing that genuinely concerned me. It felt like he was under a lot of self-created pressure. And honestly, I get it. I’ve been there... and on some level, I’m still there.
It’s easy to feel like your 20s are a race, a constant pressure to hit every milestone on time, if not early. Graduate, get a “real” job, move out, fall in love, get married, buy a house, start a family, all before you hit 30.
But let’s be honest, life doesn’t always follow that timeline. And more importantly, it shouldn’t have to.
If you’ve ever caught yourself comparing your journey to someone else’s highlight reel, you’re not alone. Social media only intensifies this pressure, making it feel like everyone else is ten steps ahead while you’re stuck trying to figure things out.
Here’s the truth, your 20s are not a checklist, they’re a chapter of exploration, growth, and learning who you really are.
1. There’s No “Right” Way to Do Your 20s
Some people get married at 24. Others break off engagements at 29.
Some land their dream job early. Others pivot careers at 28.
Some travel the world. Others stay close to home.
Some prioritize therapy. Others are just trying to keep up.
All of these are valid.
The point is that there’s no one-size-fits-all blueprint for this decade. Your journey is yours, and it’s okay if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.
2. Stop Measuring Yourself Against a Made-Up Timeline
Much of the pressure we feel comes from cultural expectations or comparisons to peers. Especially if you come from communities where early achievements are glorified, it’s easy to feel “behind.”
But who decided 25 is the magic age to have it all figured out?
Reject that idea. You are not a failure for taking your time.You are not behind, you’re building your own timeline.
3. Growth Looks Different for Everyone
Some people grow through love. Others grow through heartbreak.
Some grow by climbing the ladder. Others grow by stepping back.
Some grow through stillness, rest, and reflection.
Just because your growth isn’t flashy doesn’t mean it’s not real. Sometimes, the most meaningful progress happens quietly.
4. The Pressure to “Have It All” Is Exhausting
Truthfully? Most people are figuring it out behind the scenes. The engagement photos, job promotions, and aesthetic travel pics don’t tell the full story. Everyone has doubts. Everyone questions themselves. Everyone feels stuck at some point.
You’re not the only one. You’re just being honest about it.
5. Live at Your Own Pace and Be Proud of It
You don’t need to justify your timeline to anyone.
You don’t need to prove your worth with titles, income, or relationship status.
Whether you’re healing, rebuilding, rediscovering, or just surviving, your pace is valid. There is strength in going slow. There is beauty in not rushing.
Final Thoughts
Your 20s are a time to experiment, make mistakes, heal, grow, and learn who you are outside of the noise. It’s okay if your story doesn’t match someone else’s. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to be a work in progress.
So take the pressure off. You are not behind, you are becoming. Until next time, Peace 💖