Hola family! How are you doing? New Year is around the corner. Are you excited? Things look a bit fishy with this new variant of Corona Virus, and we might have to reduce the number of gatherings. So, with that in mind, I thought, why not discuss the importance of spending time alone and guide on how you can turn "lonely time" into entertaining and relaxing time. Every article I read states how humans are social creatures, but we forget about boundaries and distance somewhere in between. Many of my friends ask me what I do at home, spending my time alone and not wanting to go out. I don't even know where to start. I find myself very entertaining. I can find so many things to do and never get bored. But this isn't as simple as it sounds. So, let's dive into it.
It Starts With Being Your BFF
You might be surprised to hear this, but some people can't spend time alone because they are uncomfortable with themselves. When you are alone, the void and the silence in the air creates a hollow effect that increases anxiety. Some people are so used to spending time with people that they get this feeling of loneliness that makes them feel that nobody likes them when they are left alone. Why does it even matter if anyone likes you or not? If you want to be comfortable spending time with yourself, you have to like yourself. Have difficult conversations in front of a mirror. Try to diagnose your behavior and why you act in a certain way.
I used to be very short-tempered, and I was not too fond of that. Over the past couple of months, I have closely observed myself and what triggers me. Based on my data, I tried a couple of calming techniques every time I was upset. It worked! I am much more of a relaxed person now. It turns out I was micromanaging my life. When I didn't meet my expectations, I was disappointed.
Why Alone Time Is Crucial?
Psychology can back me up on this, but some facts state the benefits of spending time alone. First of all, you can explore your passion in life. When you have that space and sound, our minds try to wander and think outside the box. This is where a side hobby or things that have always had your interest can play a significant role. When you spend time alone, you can also answer questions like "Is it worth it to care about people's opinions?" and more. I consider myself an ambivert. I need my introverted and extroverted time. I get tired of spending too much time with people. I need to hibernate to charge my social energy levels. Once that is done, I am all good to go. What is your personality type?
Take this small quiz to find out: https://ideas.ted.com/quiz-are-you-an-extrovert-introvert-or-ambivert/
Why Some People Find Being Alone Not Easy
If you're alone, you're probably sad in today's society. If you're single, you're probably sad. If you travel alone, you probably don't have friends. Do you see the pattern? It's the stigma society has created for us. A lot of people feel that pressure on themselves. When you feel that pressure, you convince yourself that you're sad even though you could be living your best life alone. What's also weird is that those same people also wish to have that alone time that single people enjoy.
Conclusion: DO YOU!
On the second note, it could be your lack of experience being alone. You have been surrounded by so many students all your college life. After college, suddenly, you get a job, and you move to your place. Now you have to figure things out yourself and have no help. It's all good. It's part of life.
On the third note, consider therapy if you get distressing thoughts and negative feelings when you are alone. It has proven to have a positive effect because it unwinds the cause of those thoughts and helps you accept the truth.
As the famous saying goes, "The truth will set you free."
Understand The Difference Between Loneliness And Aloneness
You read that right. Those are two different terms, and people often mix them up. Loneliness is always associated with negative feelings, and medical researchers have evidence that it's linked to high levels of anxiety and depression. In contrast, alone time is just beneficial to our mental health, where we recharge our batteries by spending some quality time alone.
Based on my experiences, I need alone time when I'm short-tempered, can't pay attention, or feel overwhelmed. It usually happens if I have been spending too much time around people. I can't even talk to my friends and family every day. Believe me or not, but living alone can be very addicting. Something about the aura of your personal space makes you feel inspired and motivated, or maybe it's just the no-bullshit zone🤷🏻♀️
In The End
I think it's all about the mindset. I talk a lot about mindset if you have been following my blog, and a fixed mindset will never understand my message. It's all about destroying old, passed down patterns and learning new healthy habits. If you associate spending time alone with loneliness, try a hobby during your alone time. Once you start enjoying that, you will quickly understand the difference between those two feelings.
Also, be kind to yourself. Build a positive relationship with yourself. Many people have their personal problems, and they end up projecting them on other people. Before questioning someone else's behavior, ask yourself why you find it out of the norm. Be your own cheerleader and watch your life upgrade its level.
Till next time, peace!
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