Howdy fam! Happy mid of the August. I hope you took some time to rest and meditate but if you haven't, let this be your sign 🌚. This unemployed life got me a lot of time on my hands. This also means too much time to self-reflect. Now I can also work on side projects that I always wanted to work on but never had the time for. Overall, I am enjoying this downtime, knowing it will never come back. After a lot of research and self-reflection, I realized that the source of my unhappiness was myself, so today, I bring an important topic in front of you guys hoping that you can grab a bite or two. Let's dig in, shall we?
Question:
"The true source of happiness is within each of us" ~ Chris Prentiss
I read this quote couple of weeks ago and said that it's straight-up BS. I also decided to research this topic at that very moment. Some questions in my mind were, "Why would someone be unhappy if they were the source of their happiness?", "How can humans control their happiness? Is there a book or tutorial for that?", "Is there like a specific organ that produces happiness? Can we program it to only produce happiness?". These questions may sound funny initially, but think about it, we should question these types of things in life. We weren't born with any kind of "owner's manual" so how are we supposed to know these things? The mystery remains a mystery at this point...
Analyzing:
In the second week of research, I started looking up answers to these questions. I had to read a lot of articles and one book to get to my resolution. All of these resources were taking me in one direction in the end, MIND. Why was my mind playing a significant role in my happiness? Isn't the correct word LIFE? Well turns out it's not. Many of our problems in life are created in our minds first, and then they become our life problems. I had experienced this myself when I was about to go back to college. I was too focused on the issues that didn't even exist yet. I was making up scenarios in my mind and worrying about them. I was shaming myself for my mistakes in the past. I was listening to people's negative comments too closely. I was too worried about "What will people say?" which btw you have probably heard before if you belong to a desi community. The phrase should've always been something like this, "What will I think of myself?". All of the terms I described above have one common product; they don't exist now. Here, I said it...
Solution:
Let me introduce you to something called "our mind is a playa" (player for non Atl people, lol). Yep. It loves to put us in scenarios that have either happened in the past or can occur in the future. This results in us not being present in the present. We are too worried about the future or resonating with the past. This results in our brain going on Auto-Pilot mode. In this mode, our brain is doing things that we are so used to using the help of unconsciousness. "Today sucks, but I hope tomorrow will be better." We have dwelled this phrase in our minds so bad that we don't value today at all. Find your happiness in today and not in tomorrow.
Now, if you were to use your subconscious mind, you will say that work from today will make my tomorrow better. BOOM! 🤯 Why are we worried about something that we are not even promised, aka the future. Future also includes scenarios or situations like "what will this person think?", "what if I don't get this job?", "what if I can't make it there in time?". WHY are you worried about the scenarios that have no value in the present moment????
Subconscious: the part of consciousness that is not currently in focal awareness.
Unconscious mind: consists of the processes in the mind that occur automatically and are not available to introspection, and include thought processes, memory, affect, and motivation.
~diffen.com
Now, I'm not saying go all-in on today and not even bother the future. No, please don't do that. It has serious side effects. Think about the future but don't worry about it. Instead, you should plan things out, write out possible solutions for each, and map them together. For example: if Plan A fails, I will pursue Plan B, but if Plan B works, I might have to follow Plan A.2 next. And if Plan A, B, A.2 don't work, I will create a Plan X Æ A-12 (hehehe). What happens today will shape your tomorrow, so focus on the now and don't overthink yourself.
That was my take on the future. Now, Past! I have always found past kind of useless. Yes, it's good to have memories and learn from the past and predict patterns, but that's sort of millennial thinking, to be honest. We Gen-Z need to think like crypto, with no strict patterns and unpredictable 😍. If you start thinking about the past in a confusing situation, always remember, past can't do shit 😇.
Advice:
To answer how to find happiness? Limit yourself from your surroundings. You are you because of your unique identity and the experiences you have gone through. Also, don't expect anything from others. Remember, many rich kids I know are still not the happiest kids in the world because peace is what brings happiness at the end of the day. Be grateful for the things and people you have in your life. Be thankful for the fact that you woke up today all healthy with a roof on your head. Be present in the now by reducing your distractions. Every time you feel disconnected from your subconsciousness, pause for a moment to absorb what's around you now. I'm telling you, these are some life tips not all the gurus on TikTok or social media will give you. Make your happiness with what you have around you, but don't let this starve you of your dreams and goals.
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